15 minutes. Is that enough time to form a decent first impression? I think so. I met a good friend of mine through Match.com. I honestly didn’t think that we had anything in common at first. He is about 14 yrs older than I am, divorced, kids, and all that other stuff that I thought I could never relate too. However, I was wrong. Even though some of our experiences were different getting us to the point in our lives where we are now, we still chose a similar career and with the divorce he wasn’t a FULL-TIME dad. I mean obviously he is always their dad but he only sees them a couple days a week. I could relate to that. And the age gap didn’t seem so big when we realized that our parents were nearly the same age. Anyway, this post isn’t about the old man. **ha, ha** It’s about when we met.

We emailed, A LOT, and talked on the phone for probably close to a month before we decided we should meet. Now meeting was no easy task since we live about an hour and a half from each other. Regardless, he decided he would drive here after work and we would go out to dinner. It was during this planning that he mentioned the 15-Minute Rule. What is this rule? Well…at the start of any date, 15 minutes should be spent to see if continuing the date is even worth it. If after 15 minutes the spark just isn’t there, conversation doesn’t flow, or it just plain doesn’t feel right, then you leave and cut your loses. No hard feelings. That’s it. How much easier is that then torturing yourself through an hour…or god forbid longer…because you have already ordered the food and gosh-darnit you’re going to eat it even if the body across from you is duller than drift wood.

I have met a lot of people through blind dates or what I call “semi-blind” dates. Semi-blind dates are what I refer to as dates that have evolved through online meetings. You have a decent idea of who you’re meeting but you still can’t be too sure until you see each other in person. I have been on good blind dates and insufferable dates. Obviously, I wish I had implemented the 15-Minute Rule on those. So we decided that we would use the 15-Minute Rule on our first meeting even though we were quite sure we would get along. You know, just to be safe.

We met at the bar of the restaurant where we would eat…after the 15 minutes. I arrived early, as I usually try to do. (I’ve been known to go a half hour early just to make sure that I wouldn’t be the one walking in and having to look for the other person. I’ve never been good at playing the real-life version of Where’s Waldo.) Sorry, drifting again. Well, I’m at the bar so I order a glass of wine. That way it’s not awkward when he comes in and orders his drink. There’s no, um, ah, did you want something? And then the grab for your purse but he still feels obligated to pay. You all know what I’m talking about. I wanted to avoid all that so I ordered early. Shortly after, he arrived. At first I was thinking, “what did I just get myself into. It’s only 15 minutes. I can finish my drink and leave.” Sorry old man but it’s true. (Old Man really is my nickname for him…and he knows it so, no, I don’t feel bad calling him that.) Before my glass of wine was finished we were laughing and having a great time but before we moved to the table, we asked each other if that was what we wanted to do. We did.

Was it only 15 minutes that we were at the bar? Probably not. But it’s the idea. Meet for A drink, or set up a chance type meeting, a group date, something, whenever meeting someone you’ve never met in person before. That way the pressure is off. No more worrying about getting stuck sharing dinner while agonizing over what to say next, if you even want to say anything at all. If it’s not working, then it’s not working. No one’s at fault. It just happens. And yes, this is my Dating Rule #3: When meeting someone in person for the first time, always abide by the 15-Minute Rule.

View more of my dating rules.