On-line

**First, I would like to apologize for how random and all over the place this post is but this is what happens when I drink and type.** 

Last week I went against (maybe) my better judgement and started talking to a guy who I met on-line.  I’ve been rather hesitant even mentioning him on here because I know he’ll see it…at some point.  But as I pour the last drop from my bottle of wine for the night, I figured why not, let’s talk about this.  For lack of a better name, since I haven’t met him because he lives quite some distance away, I’ll call him Bear.  **In one of his first emails to me he commented on his height.  He said, “I’m taller than the average bear.”   We’ll go with that.  He unknowingly named himself (as most of the men on this blog do).** 

 

5 Positive Things About Last Week

I’m doing this thing called Mission 101: 101 things in 1001 days. One of the items on my list is to say 5 positive things about each week. This week it seems most appropriate to say add them to this blog. (These are in no particular order.)

1. I love my girl friends. They entertain me all the time…and cook me dinner. Thanks LMP.
2. I met a new online friend. (See you’ve been mentioned in my blog…already!)
3. A new addition to our ‘code’ language. JBF - Just Been Fucked or JBRFH (You try to figure that one out)
4. Estrogen or Extra Gin. (You decide)

Last but not least
5. I never stopped dating other men while I was seeing Blue Eyes. (This one made me particularly happy. Thank goodness I didn’t put all my eggs in one basket.)

 

Hello!

Irronically just a few days ago I wrote a post saying I hadn’t heard from Blue Eyes for 2 weeks.  That came to a screeching halt tonight so before I go any further I’d like to say hello to Blue Eyes.  You may be asking yourself, “How does she know he’s reading?”  Easy!  I gave the url to him and as we all know, curiosity killed the cat.

Oh, that is so true on so many levels.  Curiosity really did kill the cat.  Months ago, I was very curious about Blue Eyes, I even wrote in about being a smitten kitten for him, but my curiosity seemed to go unnoticed and my smitten kitten died.  Now, Blue Eyes will log on and start reading because it has been offered up and I know he will have to take a peek.  The outcome has yet to be decided but I don’t believe his cat will feel all that well.

 

Finally Over

I want to start this post by saying I am grateful for what I am about to write because it all just worked itself out and I didn’t have to actually DO anything. **Which obviously I wasn’t going to ever do anyway.** I haven’t heard from Blue Eyes for 2 whole weeks. That’s right. He hasn’t text me or called in 2 weeks. This is fabulous. Sure I brought it on but only by my lack of response lately. He was really starting to become an ass.

 

On My Way Out

I’m just finishing my packing.  I’m heading to San Diego for the rest of the week.  I’m going with my parents.  It should be fun though.  I haven’t been there, neither have my parents, and my mom and I plan to do a lot of sight-seeing and probably shopping.  Before I go, however, I’ll catch you all up on rather sporadic happenings in my life.

Blue Eyes:
Sure we’ve kept in touch a bit but hardly. I haven’t seen him in weeks but every few days he does contact me. He commented on how he’s the one who has been doing all the calling lately.  I didn’t really respond.  With me heading out of town and him traveling again you would think that he would make a point of setting up a date with me but he hasn’t.  He did call me last Friday night around 5 asking what my plans were.  I had plans since early in the week and I wasn’t about to drop them for a guy who calls at the last minute.  I went out as I had planned with 2 of my girl friends.  This month he’s ironically traveling to San Diego 2 different weekends.  You would think that we would be there at the same time but of course not.  He went the first weekend and then he’ll be going the last and I’m there in the middle.  Last week this was the email he sent to me.  I think it explains our relationship quite well.  We are both going in opposite directions.

“It is kind of funny that I am in San Diego 2 out of the 4 weekends and the one weekend you are there I am not there.  At least we will be both in warm areas, although they will be on opposite ends of the country (I will be in FL).  Go figure!!”

Balcony Boy:
I saw him out at the bar last Friday.  Unfortunately he was on his way out the door and was out of town the rest of the weekend.  He was supposed to call me tonight so we could ‘get together’ but he didn’t.  I can’t be too upset, I wouldn’t have time to see him anyway.  I saved all my packing for tonight.  Hopefully I will see him soon.  I like being with him.  He’s very intelligent but playful and nothing gets past him.  It’s usually refreshing.  Lately I’ve been getting irritated that we have been talking about getting together for a few months now and it still hasn’t happened.  Soon enough, I’m sure.

Nice Friend Guy:
Last Saturday I went out with a guy who is new to our trusted circle of friends.  I was excited to go out with him and get to know him better.  We agreed to go to a bar neither of us had been to yet.  **It opened only last summer.**  He came to my door with a bottle of wine.  I think it was one of the best bottles I had ever tasted.  It was so wonderful and smooth.  We finished the bottle then went to the bar.  I think we needed not only the bottle but a change of venue.  We were much more talkative once we arrived at the bar. 

We chatted about a lot of nonsense.  I only say that because I can’t truly remember what we talked about so it must have just been stuff and nothing of real importance.  While we were there he kept getting messages from some other friends of ours.  I told him to invite them to meet us or we could meet them.  He wasn’t interested in that.  Instead he suggested we go back to my place and veg on the couch again.  I was up for sitting comfortably in a smoke-free zone so we left.

We watched TV while sipping on another bottle of wine.  We cuddled a little then he moved in for a kiss and stole it.  Before I new it I was gasping for air.  **Not that he was a bad kisser, I just wasn’t interested in making out with a guy in the circle so soon.**  I pulled back and we continued to watch TV.  We were falling asleep and my DVD player started skipping so we moved into my room to watch in there.  **Really, this was innocent.**  We cuddled next to each other then before I knew it he was on top of me trying to remove my pants.  I told him to stop.  He did for a bit then tried again.  I told him no then explained my stand on dating people within the circle and how it needed to be approached slowly and cautiously.  He got the point and stopped.  We crashed on my bed.  **See, I didn’t even invite him in between my sheets.  We both slept on-top of the covers with an extra blanket from the living room covering us.**  He left early and has text me and emailed me since.  I havn’t responded…yet.  I don’t think I can date a guy in the circle.  At least not that one.  Too soon to tell and the whole trying to take my pants off twice makes me a little uncomfortable.  Not that it would be strange to see him again or anything like that.  I just don’t want to provoke something I’m not ready for and may never be ready for with this guy.  He is, afterall, a friend and a friend of friends which is often worse.

Old Man:
Yes, he’s still ‘around’.  No, I havn’t been chatting with him but he does occasionally send me messages.  The only ones I allow myself to respond to are the ones about his house and decorating.  Anything beyond that just opens up wounds that haven’t healed.  Last night, Sunday, he text me…of course. 

“Hi. Hope you’re doing well.  Was just thinking of you.” 

This was sent at 11.  Funny thing was, I was thinking of him too.  I had just pulled out my Dirty Little Secret because I was having a hard time falling asleep.  I don’t usually think about him but every now and then…I do.  Last night was one of those times.  As much as I wanted to and seriously contemplated it, I did not respond.  I know exactly what would happen if I did…but I do want to.  I do want to talk to him.  **Hold strong!**

So that’s the excitement.  Now you’ll have to wait a week for any type of update since I will not have access to the Internet.  I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I will.