I Can Give Up Now

Not that I was sitting on needles waiting but I did tell you all I would let you know when and IF the new guy contacted me again.  Well, here it is.

Hi [tS],
I wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to see you anymore. I’ve been seeing someone else also and I’d like to pursue an exclusive relationship with her. Believe me this was a very hard decision as your a great girl with a lot going for you. I just had a little more in common with this other girl. I’m sure you’ll find a great guy out there. I hope your not upset about this. I may see you at football as I might be playing next season so I hope we can still be cool with each other.

Thanks,
[new guy]

[new guy],
No worries. I agree you are a great guy and I wish you the best just be ready for me to kick your butt on the football field. ;) J/K. But seriously, good luck in finding what you are looking for. I’m sure I’ll see you around since this city isn’t that big till then take care.

[tS]

“I hope you’re not upset”? Seriously? I’ve only heard from him once in 2 weeks. I had basically written him off over a week ago. Besides, I only dwell on men for a few days before I move on. Hell, look at my dating life recently. Yeah, I’m sitting around pining for him. NOPE!  It’s fine anyway.  I mean after-all, he’s the reason I had to see the Old Man last week.  The sex was so terrible I wanted to be reminded what good sex was like.  Honestly, I didn’t want to write it.  I was hoping it would get better but I laid there in bed thinking, “Can I live like this?  Could I be satisfied by this for the rest of my life?”  The answer was no which, as I said, led me back to the Old Man.  He may be 14 yrs older then me but I have NEVER had bad sex with him even when he was sick last week. 

Well, I have a date tonight.  Hopefully this one goes better.

 

Let Down

My birthday plans have quickly been squashed. I had planned to go to San Francisco for a wine tour which is something I desperately wanted to do for my 30th but every time I turn around more people can’t make it. There were only about a handful of people who I really wanted to be there. I haven’t heard back from the last but all of the others can’t make it. I know at this point I’ve waited a bit too long for some travel deals. Get hotels booked, tickets bought, tour scheduled but I still wanted to go no matter the cost. I would suck it up because it’s my 30th. All of my friends have legitimate reasons for not making it - work, kids, stuff, but now it’s anything but a birthday celebration without my good friends there to celebrate. Maybe I plan too big. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe… I don’t know. I’m just so disappointed and I feel about this (imagine me pinching an inch) big. Honestly, it makes me wonder who my real friends are. Why am I so unimportant? I know I shouldn’t feel this way but is it so difficult to pick up a phone or email and ask if it’s still on? Or to let me know you can’t make it? I feel as though everyone around me has these big exciting lives and here I am, little tS, living near her folks, always available to meet up if you ask because she has NOTHING ELSE to do. *tears

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I am friends of people through people. I’m not directly friends with anyone. I’m invited if it’s a group (and even then, not always). I know I’m having one of those down in the dirt kind of days, but I really feel insignificant today. I feel like people don’t really appreciate ME.

 

Is This What We’ve Come To?

Yesterday I hung out with my parents in the afternoon. My mom and I sat out by the lake and watched the boaters. My dad came home a bit later and I looked at their house plans with him. **My parents are having plans drawn up for an addition.** The architect they are using has no design sense. I pointed out several issues with the plans. After some explanation as to why we should change the plans **telling him the plans where shit and they reflected a knee jerk reaction to fix immediate problems rather then thinking to the future of what might need to be done next…** my dad conceited. Well, at least to most of it. I still have get him to see my view on their new bedroom. Yes, I really did yell at my dad and tell him the design was shit. Then we did a walk around the house and he ended up seeing my vision. Apparently I’m not very good at communicating with my dad. He’s just like me though, very bullheaded. It’s hard to change his mind.

After the small commotion between my dad and I, we decided to get some dinner. My parents and I went to a little restaurant only a few blocks from their house. With it being so close my parents frequent it often. The owner came over to chat. A friend had bought us a round but none of us were drinking so the owner brought my parents tokens for the next time they have dinner. My parents were joking about how I was only 19. I laughed and said, “Yeah, about 10 years ago. I’ll be turning 30 in just a few more months.”

The owner asked, “Happily married?”

I lifted my left hand up, looked at it, and replied, “Nope!”

At that my mom chimed in, “Not even happily divorced either.”

 

Timing Is Everything

I drove to work this morning since I was running a little late and I have an appointment after work I’ll need to drive to.  As I was turning my car around to park on the street Consultant Boy walked by.  He waited for me to get out of my car and feed the meter then escorted me to my office.  I didn’t ask him anything about returning my call or anything else.  I just asked how he was and if he was busy.  He told me a friend popped in fairly unexpectedly on him and he was playing host for a few days.  **That doesn’t excuse not calling me for 2 weeks but whatever.  I’m not going to be that girl.  I called him last.  Darnit, it’s his turn to call me if he wants to see me again.**  I do have to say.  OH MY GOD!  He’s beautiful!  (Sigh!)

 

Have I mentioned, MEN SUCK?!?

I’ll add to this tomorrow when I’m not a little tipsy. :) Read on till then. Thanks.

WOW!  I just read through (and fixed) what I wrote last night.  It was BAD!  Apparently I write like a total idiot when I’m drunk.  Even I could hardly make head or tails of it.  The good news though, my head is a little foggy today **that’s not the good news**, so last night’s version actually helped me put together a little bit of the night. 

Here’s the new and improved post.

Tonight there was a little happy hour type thing for young professionals in my city’s area. This basically means anyone with a college education & salary under the age of 45, come hither. I knew what I was getting myself into but at the same time it was at a new bar to the area (a wine cellar bar…yeah right) and I knew that not only would I know a person or two, I could also talk Kat and JGT into going. We arrived and I bee-lined to the bar thinking “OMG, what the fuck am I doing at another one of these fucking meat-markets for single professionals.” I sat at the bar (waiting for a bartender for FOREVER) and looked back at the barrage I managed my way through. In the mix I found Balcony Boy. I haven’t posted about him in months.

The last time we spoke he was maybe, possibly, seeing this woman but maybe not. He didn’t see it going anywhere…or so he told me.

This is what pisses me off. He, Balcony Boy, made his way around the room (after acknowledging me, saying he’d be over in a minute, granted I don’t wait for guys but…) Finally after at least an hour (longer I think but you know alcohol and clocks) I wound up in the same place as him. We chatted a little about mutual friends and whatnot. Total small talk shit. Finally we got down to he and I. Not once did he mention another woman…must be over. Right? He’s not the type who could hold onto a relationship anyway. He’s one of those guys you could stereotype as a liar, player, cheater, or (god forbid) all of the above.