Just Friends?

Last week Thursday, after taking the advice of my two girl friends, I called Hometown Boy to tell him my concerns and the things I’ve been thinking. I was still so stressed out about the other people actually being someone. For about 2 hours we went back and forth about how he did in fact lead me to believe that other people didn’t exist due to his words and actions. He didn’t try to make any excuses. He knew what I was saying was what happened and his intuition told him I would respond the way I now was. He told me more about this other woman. They met and had their first date just before he and I had our first date (which wasn’t supposed to be a date). Their second date was planned at the end of the first. I can’t remember if he said they went on 3 dates so far or if the third is just planned. Either way, so far I’m winning with over 10 dates and most of those have been in the past 3 weeks.

I was/am disappointed that he wants to see this other woman still but there is an inner peace in me about it all as well. Something tells me that most women are not going to be able to handle his quirky behavior. He truly is a BIG nerd but I like it. He’s afraid we are too similar and I think it’s just wonderful. We know just how the other person would organize their silverware, dispose of things, install things, whatever, because we would do it the same way. It’s borderline scary but reassuring as well.

After our long conversation and things seeming to end between he and I, he explained how he didn’t want this (our relationship) to end just yet either. He needs to figure things out yet but he really enjoys being with me, talking to me. We ended on a good note. I asked him where all of this left us - not “us” but us. We agreed that we both want to still hang out, be able to give a call to go to dinner some night or just to watch a movie. He added that he wanted me to be comfortable enough to lay my head on his shoulder still. It was really quite sweet. He said he’d email me the next day and he did. It was a good thing too because after all of that I really didn’t know where we stood. It’s one thing to say something and it’s another to truly mean it and do it.

We chatted a bit over IM. I found out I could get extra tickets for the baseball game that night so I offered them to him and his friend. LMP and I were already going. It was only awkward for a few minutes after that we were snuggled close together. After the game we went to a bar where we continued the night. Hometown Boy and I were off and on holding hands at the table we were seated at. We were out until nearly bar time. HtB drove me home and walked me to my door. We kissed good night and he asked if I was ok after our talk the night before.

“I’m ok now that I know more information.”

We kissed some more then he headed to his car where his friend was waiting. He took his friend home but still had a long drive ahead of him so he called me to keep him company. He asked what my plans were for Saturday night. I didn’t have any so we made very tentative plans to possibly hang out. We both had tiring Saturday’s and we weren’t sure if either of us would be up for anything.

Saturday evening came. We had both took naps during the day so even though we didn’t talk until 9pm we still decided to get together. I drove up to his place. We watched TV for a while once I got to his place and then eventually made our way to bed. We keep our new boundaries very well until Sunday afternoon when we were still laying in bed. We figured out where the point of no return was so we’ll try to be better at not crossing that line. Besides, it was a great way to leave things for a while. A REALLY GREAT way. Sigh!

It was after 4 when we made our way outside for a long walk. It was supposed to be a 5 mile run but considering we were both still sore from our Saturday’s it wasn’t going to happen. After our walk we went to the hardware store to buy a few items - one for me, some for him. Back at Hometown Boy’s house we went to work installing a new ceiling fan. It took longer then planned as most projects do, but we finished it without problems. **Well, he finished it. I handed him things.** We sat down to watch a little TV before I headed home but I crashed. I ended up staying another night.

If this is what “taking it slow” means then sign me up. As for this other woman, I’m not too concerned after this weekend. We will be watching things from now on however, trying to hold back. Supposedly the next time I stay the night I will not be sleeping in his bed. We’ll see how all this goes. I don’t want to enforce too many rules on us and he agreed. We’re going to therefore have a rule of thumb that we try to meet but we won’t get too hung up about an occasional swing and a miss.

 

Cancelled…no shock there

Yesterday the Old Man and I had the following email conversation.  It basically states that we’re not having lunch on Monday anymore.  He’s scared as hell to be engaged.  He still has some kind of feelings for me.  I’m not sure, but my guess is he was hoping for more then I told him he would get.  No surprise there.  It’s also no surprise that he cancelled the lunch date.  He has a tendancy to do that…A LOT.  Oh well.  I was a little hesitate to accept at first anyway but I did because I knew I could contain myself.  I’m trying to focus on someone else right now.  **Oh, there’s a story there as well.  I’ve been meaning to post about it all week but work’s been a tad on the busy side.  I haven’t been able to gather my thoughts but, no worries, it will be posted soon.** 

Here’s the conversation.

 

Here we GOooo!

I was minding my own business today. Hardly even saying a word to even my coworkers who sit within feet of my desk. Then I had a lunch meeting. I was not prepared for what I returned to.

Old Man: You busy next week?
tS: Just working
OM: You’re ALWAYS working…except when you go on vacation all the time I mean.
tS: Hey, at least I haven’t had 4 jobs in the past 18 months.
(He has off next week because he’ll be starting a new job at a new company.
OM: I know…I’m going to hate making that extra $40K a year. What was I thinking? Brat!
tS: Well good. You’ll be able to afford the wedding AND send your girls to college.
OM: I’m not so sure I’m meant to be married….this is weird!! Just sayin’!
tS: So did you just write to rub it in that you have next week off?
OM: No I was going to ask you if you wanted to have lunch, but then you were a brat so I was pouting!
tS: Oh. Ok then. Are you finished pouting?
OM: I think so.
tS: good.
OM: Do you want to have lunch with me?
tS: Is this lunch or “lunch”? Because lunch I’ll do but I won’t “do” “lunch”.
OM: I was thinking lunch, but I’m not sure we’ve ever had just lunch. LOL
tS: We’ve never had just anything since the first time we met.
OM: Fuckin’ chemistry anyway!!
tS: Just because I’m basically 1/2 your age… ;P
OM: Um no. Is that what you thought? Silly!!
And that’s 2/3….but who’s calculating? ;)
tS: Obviously not you.
OM: So are you not interested in lunch next week…or are they actually making you work and you’re too busy to respond? I was thinking maybe Monday or Wednesday…if you’re interested of course. J

I said Monday would work. I know you all will yell at me since every psychology book ever written would say this is one of the most unhealthy things to do. I’m looking at this as something else. I haven’t seen the man in months…MONTHS. I know this has to do with him. He needs to know that he’s made the right decision.

Me on the other hand? I feel like I’ve moved on since only on extremely rare occasions do I even think about him. So for me, I need to know if he and I can in fact be friends. If we are limited only to email because we otherwise can’t “control ourselves” then what’s the point of staying in contact at all? I’m not going to get sucked back into this whole…um…shit, at the very least it’s a free lunch.

 

Date 2

Oh yes!  We are having our second date tomorrow night.  This time it will be the tell all.  **Not literally.**  I’m meeting him at the bar after his kickball game.  His team goes there after every game.  Ironically it’s the same bar I often go to on Saturday afternoon after my football games.  What I mean by tell all is after a couple drinks on a Friday night if there’s an attraction, well, we’ll both know.  If he becomes some obnoxious drunk…  If I’m sloppy…  This could go either way.  It could be good or bad but I have very high hopes.  It’s only our second time in eachother’s company and I’m going to meet some of his pretty good friends, his teammates.  I’m feeling the pressure already.  Maybe I’ll get there a little early so I can get a drink in me quick to calm my nerves before they all show up.  **Knowing me I’ll be running about 5-10 mins late though.  I’m either very early or a little late.  I’m never just on time or “fashionably late”.  I got to an interview about 45 mins early once.  That wasn’t good.  Talk about a lot of time to over think.  However, I got the job.**  Whoops!  I was talking about tomorrow night.

About tomorrow, I just have to remember it’s not ok to bring him home yet.  That’ll probably be the toughest part of the night. 

 

Let Down

My birthday plans have quickly been squashed. I had planned to go to San Francisco for a wine tour which is something I desperately wanted to do for my 30th but every time I turn around more people can’t make it. There were only about a handful of people who I really wanted to be there. I haven’t heard back from the last but all of the others can’t make it. I know at this point I’ve waited a bit too long for some travel deals. Get hotels booked, tickets bought, tour scheduled but I still wanted to go no matter the cost. I would suck it up because it’s my 30th. All of my friends have legitimate reasons for not making it - work, kids, stuff, but now it’s anything but a birthday celebration without my good friends there to celebrate. Maybe I plan too big. Maybe I expect too much. Maybe… I don’t know. I’m just so disappointed and I feel about this (imagine me pinching an inch) big. Honestly, it makes me wonder who my real friends are. Why am I so unimportant? I know I shouldn’t feel this way but is it so difficult to pick up a phone or email and ask if it’s still on? Or to let me know you can’t make it? I feel as though everyone around me has these big exciting lives and here I am, little tS, living near her folks, always available to meet up if you ask because she has NOTHING ELSE to do. *tears

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I am friends of people through people. I’m not directly friends with anyone. I’m invited if it’s a group (and even then, not always). I know I’m having one of those down in the dirt kind of days, but I really feel insignificant today. I feel like people don’t really appreciate ME.