What can I say? It was a dream.

Completely messed up. I’m going to blame my dream last night on the rain.

I dreamt the old man invited me over to his place to shower. **This is why I think the rain had something to do with my dream.** However, it was not only the Old Man and I who were there. His new woman was there as well. I guess he wanted to find out if she was as adventurous as she said she was. We head into his bathroom which reminded me of a nicer dorm shower room. It had a large tub/shower stall. The room itself was quite large. I didn’t see a sink anywhere. Inside the shower stall was a large deep ledge which housed bottle after bottle of soaps and shampoo. None of the bottles were full. It was as though the Old Man had cleaned out all his cabinets and found several bottles his girls hadn’t finished using before moving onto the next bottle. I took off my clothes and got into the shower. I made a few comments to the new woman as I did that. Commenting on the obviously upgraded bathroom accessories since the LAST time I had been there and other comments like that. I tried to get a rise out of her and I could see it working. She was completely uncomfortable. The Old Man was just about to crawl inside the shower when the scene changed.

 

All Off

As I mentioned before I’m doing this thing called Mission 101.  It’s a list of 101 things that you have 1001 days to complete.  One of the items on my list is get a bikini wax.  **Really a Brazilian but I thought writing bikini wax on my list was more than enough information for my friends and family.**  It’s something I’ve never done but was always curious about.  Well, today I did it.  That’s right.  I just got back to my desk after my appointment.  I am so lucky to have a great salon & spa on the first floor of my office building. 

So, what’s the verdict you ask?  A little painful but it wasn’t too bad.  The pain went away almost immediately.  It was just a quick shock to the system. 

Will I do it again?  Oh yeah!  Why not.  Much easier then grooming myself “down there” in my “no, no places” all the time.  Honestly, I’m so smooth right now, if I wasn’t at work I’d be touching myself.  Now I need to find a guy who can help me enjoy this as well. ;)

 

Top 10 Reasons You Know Last Night Was Good

#1 You nearly trip over all the toys on the ground as you fall out of bed the next morning.

#2 Your head hurts but you can’t stop laughing…I might have still been drunk.

#3 I managed to bend my fingers like normal at the bar (something I have not been able to perform since last Saturday at 11:10 and am still unable to)

#4 You put your bag down right in front of your jacket at the table yet still walk to the coat closet to find the darn thing. **Hmmm? It should be on THAT hanger. WTF? Oh, it’s behind me.**

#5 You crawl to work with a still wet head of hair because you couldn’t fathom doing it this morning since your hands were shaking from the alcohol leaving your bloodstream.

#6 You find receipts in your wallet for 2 bottles of wine from the bar when you pull your money out for your latte.

#7 Everyone at work says you look tired then asks how your night was after hearing your raspy voice.

#8 Your purse smells so bad you consider changing desks

#9 You don’t realize the smell is your purse and think the smell is coming from your pores

#10 You avoid actual work at all cost and instead write these top 10.

This morning, not surprisingly, I was running late for work so I didn’t have a chance to rewrap my fingers. I threw my tape in my purse and ran out the door to the office. I finally had the chance to sit down and do it. I took my purse out of my big leather bag, took the tape out, and sat there for a second. I still smell bar. I showered. WTF? I said out loud, “Oh my!” Then looked at my coworker who was staring back quizzically watching me smell my hair. “I showered and I can still smell bar.” Then I realized the culprit for the stench was my purse. I raised it up to my nose and took a big whiff and nearly fell over from the funk.

Happy Birthday, LMP!  Hope you had as much fun as I did last night.

 

Three Strikes!

Friday.  What a long day.  I woke up feeling like crap from the night before.  Luckily I had the day off work.  I spent the morning entertaining (not really since I was feeling like complete crap) my 2 girl friends, Kat and JGT.  Later in the day we went to a Baseball game.  It was about 20 degrees, the wind was blowing so hard, and we were outside grilling brats.  After nearly 4 hours of frigid cold we were finally ready to go into the stadium.  I opted to be the DD since I was so sick most of the morning.  I sat back and watched everyone get crazy.  There were about 15 of us.  I went only knowing 2 people, Kat and JGT, everyone else were new friends to make.  The fun thing about being the sober one at the game was no one noticed I wasn’t drinking since they were so drunk themselves.

Kat wanted to get into a fight with the chick sitting behind us.  She kept complaining she couldn’t see the field.  Instead of fighting, however, Kat moved down the row and made friends with a 5 year old boy, Joshua.  I was sitting about 10 seats away so I can only imagine the things Kat was teaching this poor boy.

JGT met a boy.  Kat and I deemed him lame but that didn’t stop JGT from getting a little friendly with him.

I also met a boy, really, a boy.  He was born in ‘83.  Even though he was young he was really sweet and cute.  We talked for a while at the game.  He was sad we had to part ways at the end of the game.  His group was going one bar on one side of the city and mine was going in the complete opposite direction.  I was really disappointed we weren’t going to the same place as well.  Unfortunately, he didn’t ask for my number so that was that. 

On the way home both Kat and JGT fell asleep.  Three beautiful available girls and we all struck out and went home alone.  What a disappointment.

 

Friend Zone Update

Another friend has responded with some great suggestions for all you men out there who don’t want to end up just a friend. Check it out!