Cancelled…no shock there

Yesterday the Old Man and I had the following email conversation.  It basically states that we’re not having lunch on Monday anymore.  He’s scared as hell to be engaged.  He still has some kind of feelings for me.  I’m not sure, but my guess is he was hoping for more then I told him he would get.  No surprise there.  It’s also no surprise that he cancelled the lunch date.  He has a tendancy to do that…A LOT.  Oh well.  I was a little hesitate to accept at first anyway but I did because I knew I could contain myself.  I’m trying to focus on someone else right now.  **Oh, there’s a story there as well.  I’ve been meaning to post about it all week but work’s been a tad on the busy side.  I haven’t been able to gather my thoughts but, no worries, it will be posted soon.** 

Here’s the conversation.

 

Here we GOooo!

I was minding my own business today. Hardly even saying a word to even my coworkers who sit within feet of my desk. Then I had a lunch meeting. I was not prepared for what I returned to.

Old Man: You busy next week?
tS: Just working
OM: You’re ALWAYS working…except when you go on vacation all the time I mean.
tS: Hey, at least I haven’t had 4 jobs in the past 18 months.
(He has off next week because he’ll be starting a new job at a new company.
OM: I know…I’m going to hate making that extra $40K a year. What was I thinking? Brat!
tS: Well good. You’ll be able to afford the wedding AND send your girls to college.
OM: I’m not so sure I’m meant to be married….this is weird!! Just sayin’!
tS: So did you just write to rub it in that you have next week off?
OM: No I was going to ask you if you wanted to have lunch, but then you were a brat so I was pouting!
tS: Oh. Ok then. Are you finished pouting?
OM: I think so.
tS: good.
OM: Do you want to have lunch with me?
tS: Is this lunch or “lunch”? Because lunch I’ll do but I won’t “do” “lunch”.
OM: I was thinking lunch, but I’m not sure we’ve ever had just lunch. LOL
tS: We’ve never had just anything since the first time we met.
OM: Fuckin’ chemistry anyway!!
tS: Just because I’m basically 1/2 your age… ;P
OM: Um no. Is that what you thought? Silly!!
And that’s 2/3….but who’s calculating? ;)
tS: Obviously not you.
OM: So are you not interested in lunch next week…or are they actually making you work and you’re too busy to respond? I was thinking maybe Monday or Wednesday…if you’re interested of course. J

I said Monday would work. I know you all will yell at me since every psychology book ever written would say this is one of the most unhealthy things to do. I’m looking at this as something else. I haven’t seen the man in months…MONTHS. I know this has to do with him. He needs to know that he’s made the right decision.

Me on the other hand? I feel like I’ve moved on since only on extremely rare occasions do I even think about him. So for me, I need to know if he and I can in fact be friends. If we are limited only to email because we otherwise can’t “control ourselves” then what’s the point of staying in contact at all? I’m not going to get sucked back into this whole…um…shit, at the very least it’s a free lunch.

 

Does The Past Come Back To Bite?…or nibble

Ok, gang, I’m BACK! It’s been a few months since I’ve posted but don’t fret, I’ve been out there dating up a storm still looking for Mr. Right. The dating scene has been the same old, same old. That was until recently.

First of all let me start by saying Old Man is engaged. Yes, you all read that correctly - ENGAGED!!! I do still talk to him occasionally but only a couple times a week and we haven’t seen each other in months. (Not since the last time I posted about him.) This all came out of the woodwork yesterday as I was needlessly flirting with him over email. That’s when he told me he was “an engaged guy”. YIKES! I was floored. For a bit I was almost hurt though I don’t really know why. Truth is, I was thinking about him a few days prior and what if? Not like today or tomorrow but like 10 years from now. Then I quickly remembered he’s 14 years older then me. That would make him OLD! **EWE!** Not only that but being with a guy 14 years older then him potentially means that many more years of not being with him when I’m old. I started thinking about my grandma who just turned 92 a few weeks ago. She buried my grandma 27 years ago. I don’t want to “put” myself in that kind of situation by being with someone that much older then me. Besides, let’s face it, women live longer then men. The whole scenario just isn’t looking too good for me. So, I’ve moved on but that doesn’t mean I can’t occasionally chat with him via email.

So that’s the update on OM. Let’s move on.

 

On The Road Again…

I drove home after my blind date and called the Old Man.  We had gotten into a bit of a fight earlier in the day.  He emailed me and said he wished he could see me tonight (as in last night, Tuesday).  I said I wished that as well but then I couldn’t go on my blind date.

I was feeling a little mushy yesterday.  “You have the girls tonight.  Right?”  Then went into something about how I wished I could meet them someday just to see what little ones from him are like. 

He didn’t have the girls since he had them the night before so I told him if my date’s a bust I’ll let him know and maybe we could still get together. 

OM told me he’d “lie there in waiting.”

“You wait?…for me?  Right!  I don’t believe that for a second.”

He responded with a wink and I called him out on it.

**This is where his and my relationship is totally fucked up.**

 

What can I say? It was a dream.

Completely messed up. I’m going to blame my dream last night on the rain.

I dreamt the old man invited me over to his place to shower. **This is why I think the rain had something to do with my dream.** However, it was not only the Old Man and I who were there. His new woman was there as well. I guess he wanted to find out if she was as adventurous as she said she was. We head into his bathroom which reminded me of a nicer dorm shower room. It had a large tub/shower stall. The room itself was quite large. I didn’t see a sink anywhere. Inside the shower stall was a large deep ledge which housed bottle after bottle of soaps and shampoo. None of the bottles were full. It was as though the Old Man had cleaned out all his cabinets and found several bottles his girls hadn’t finished using before moving onto the next bottle. I took off my clothes and got into the shower. I made a few comments to the new woman as I did that. Commenting on the obviously upgraded bathroom accessories since the LAST time I had been there and other comments like that. I tried to get a rise out of her and I could see it working. She was completely uncomfortable. The Old Man was just about to crawl inside the shower when the scene changed.