There are so many terms for the different levels of dating, from meeting, to talking, to seeing each other, dating, it get’s confusing. Are we? Aren’t we? I don’t know.
- Is he into me?- a few signs that might help
Rules for Dating: These rules are written in no particular order. I just write them as I go. These are rules that I have either created for myself or ones that I strive to adhere to.
- Rule #1 - Don’t date from the Lost & Found bin
- Rule #2 - Don’t date charity cases
- Rule #3 - The 15-Minute Rule
- Rule #4 - Be VERY Selective with Your Phone Number
- Rule #5 - 2:1 Ratio
- Rule #6 - Phone Etiquette
- Rule #7 - Splitting the Bill
*Check back occassionally for more posts and rules.*
Feed
May 31, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Here’s a question to consider. At what do you break out the “I love you” assuming you know feel it. I’ve heard that when you feel like saying it, you should wait 24 hours and see if you still want to say it. What is your opinion on this?
June 1, 2007 at 12:05 am
Cassandra,
Here’s something I don’t usually admit to. **yeah right!** Seeing as it’s been SO FUCKING long since i’ve actually felt I should, or could, or…well whatever, I’ll be honest. I don’t have any good advise when it comes to good, healthy, dating advise. Often times I wait until either the other person tells me or I know the other person feels the same way they are just waiting for me to say it first. I’m a chicken. In some ways that can be helpful in others not. I wait for them to comment because I don’t want to be hurt.
[Thinking back on the days]
My last boyfriend (who I thought I might someday marry but is now engaged to another (quite lovely) woman said it to me in a drunken stuper. **as if I’d say it to him first!**
The time before that, my boyfriend of 2.5 yrs. Ok, this takes serious thinking. Fuck that was nearly 8 yrs ago. **Yes, it’s been at least 5.5 yrs since someone besides my family has told me they loved me. Well, a few girl friends are thrown in there too.** Shit! Here’s how I remember it:
My boyfriend was leaving for the summer. Not good. I would still be up at school living in the college days. I was holding out sex from him **only about 2 months which seemed HUGE at the time**. Off he went. Back home for the summer. I had been through a lot in the 3 months he was gone though he had no idea the extence and I’m not ready to share it all here. He was finally back from school and that was what mattered. **After his strength over the summer I knew he was interested in ME. Just ME. Nothing else mattered.** It was less then a month before we finally said we loved each other. We did and for a long time. He never judged me. He didn’t care about my past. He wanted to be with me. I wasn’t sure I really loved him during the summer **even though I thought it** but he stuck it (everything) out with me. Nothing else mattered. To me, that’s what love was.
I can honestly say, Jay, my college boyfriend of 2.5 yrs was my first love. I had other boyfriends before but none who looked beyond my faults and just chose to be with me.
Love to me is knowing the other person through good or bad, excepting them for who they are, and not thinking any less of them. If that is truely what you feel, and it’s not been only a couple of casual dates, or talks, then let it be known how important he is in your life. **You do not need to say love. You can test the waters.** Say things such as, “I enjoy you so much, I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t in it.” Ok, I know it’s cheesy BUT you didn’t say love **red flag for a guy who’s not ready** and you still complimented him saying he’s important to you. **Men like feeling important. It’s the whole bread winner thing I think.** You have opened yourself up to his reaction without fully exposing yourself. Some **maybe many** will disagree but hell how many of them are in your relationship…with your experiences…with your own “feelings”.
It’s up to you. I usually take the easy/careful way out by testing the waters but who’s to say that I’m even remotely right? I’ll post this question out there for my other readers and friends.
If you’re doubting you should ask, you’re doubting he feels the same. Be confident and hold on till you feel the answer is what you need it to be whether it’s I love you too or whatever? Things have a way of working themselves out no matter what. Don’t be afraid of your feelings **because I am** but do guard yourself from harmful situations.
I hope something in here helped.
-tS
June 1, 2007 at 11:09 am
I have recently discovered, that there evidently is a too soon or not too soon on the “I love you”. I would say from my latest experience anything before 6 months to a year, regaurdless of how you feel is too soon. Evidently we haven’t evoluted to a completely honest relationship error, and there are still many dating games to be played. I am a completely honest person when it comes to my thoughts and feelings, but in this respect it seems to be ruining my love life, go figure lol. It seems to overwhelm men, if they are not quiet sure how they feel yet. Maybe tell him you care for him a lot, and he definately brings a positive effect to your life (ok thats “I love you” without actually saying it) and test the waters for a reaction. Once you have said it, you have then became completely vulnerable. It can go either way!
Sarah, texas